Supporting loved ones

Welcome to Heart of the Haven, an educational series committed to raising awareness and providing support for those affected by domestic and family violence. In this article, we explore the vital role of supporting loved ones who may be experiencing abuse, even if they haven't yet disclosed it.

Recognising signs and initiating the conversation

When it comes to supporting someone you suspect is experiencing domestic violence, initiating the conversation requires empathy and validation. Sam C, Executive Officer of Client Services, from The Haven emphasises, "Communicate your belief to them, that you believe their experience of domestic and family violence, whether they've disclosed to you or not." Using phrases like "I believe you" and offering assistance opens the door for them to confide in you.

Creating a safe environment for disclosure

If a direct disclosure hasn't occurred, creating a safe environment for potential disclosure is crucial. Sam suggests subtly vocalising opposition to domestic violence in group settings, signaling safety for potential disclosure. By standing up against abuse publicly, you send a message that you are a safe person to confide in.

Providing ongoing support

For those who do disclose, offering ongoing support is essential. Sam advises offering to accompany them to seek professional help, providing moral support without speaking for them. Additionally, she stresses the importance of addressing the impacts of psychological abuse and reassuring victims that they are not to blame.

Supporting those stuck in freeze mode

For individuals who feel trapped and unable to leave, being a consistent presence in their life is crucial. Sam underscores the importance of staying connected, no matter how small the gesture. "Being there and being around and in their life is one of the foundations for them to reach out when they're ready for that support," she explains.

Seeking support for yourself

Supporting a loved one through domestic violence can take an emotional toll. Sam encourages seeking support for yourself to navigate these challenges effectively. Whether it's speaking to a GP or utilising helplines, ensuring your own well-being is essential to being a source of strength for others.

Community accountability

Communities play a crucial role in holding perpetrators accountable and challenging victim-blaming narratives. Sam highlights the need to shift the focus onto abusers and address systemic issues. By advocating for change and supporting victims, communities can foster safer environments for all.

Becoming an ally

Becoming an ally means being a visible supporter of the cause. Sam emphasises the importance of allies in providing tangible support beyond fundraising. Whether through volunteering, advocacy, or offering services, allies play a vital role in creating a supportive network for survivors.

Supporting loved ones through domestic violence requires empathy, understanding, and ongoing commitment. By creating a safe space for potential disclosure, providing ongoing support, and seeking help for yourself, you can make a significant difference in someone's life.

If you or someone you know needs help, please visit our website, www.thehaven.org.au, for a list of contact details to get support. Thank you for joining us in this important conversation.