Supporting Children

Welcome to Heart of the Haven, an educational series committed to raising awareness and providing support for those affected by domestic and family violence. In this article, we focus on the safety and protection of children at The Haven.

Specialised Support for Children

The Haven has specialised roles dedicated to children and young people, ensuring they receive individualised support from workers who understand their unique experiences. Children aged 0-12 are supported by a family-specific caseworker who not only assists the child directly but also guides the parent on the healing and developmental needs of this age group. This support can range from increasing focus at school and addressing developmental delays to enhancing safety and secure attachment with the parent at The Haven.

Support for Young People

For young people aged 12-17, the focus shifts to maintaining connections with peers, community, and school interests. Youth experiencing family violence often feel isolated and disconnected, so The Haven’s youth role is specialised in rebuilding these points of connection as part of their recovery process.

Child Safety Standards

The Haven follows child safety standards set across New South Wales, ensuring it operates as a child-safe organisation. This involves stringent recruitment processes for staff, volunteers, and students, including working with children checks and comprehensive training on child-safe practices. Everyone at The Haven is trained to identify children at risk, report concerns, and provide appropriate support and debriefing.

Developing a Child-Inclusive Framework

In developing its child-inclusive practice framework, The Haven recognised the need for practice frameworks specifically tailored to children and young people. While trauma-informed, strengths-based, and client-centered approaches are effective, they are primarily adult-focused. The child-inclusive framework includes secure attachment and safe attachment practices between the parent (usually the mother) and the child, which are crucial for children rebuilding their own sense of safety.

Understanding Secure Attachment

Secure attachment is foundational for children, beginning in utero and continuing as they develop. It involves healthy connections to caregivers, which domestic and family violence often disrupts. For younger children, The Haven focuses on supporting secure attachment between the mother and child. As children grow older, the emphasis shifts to identifying other points of secure attachment, such as extended family members, peer mentors, or community leaders, and strengthening those connections.

Different Experiences of Violence

Children’s experiences of domestic and family violence differ significantly from those of their mothers. For mothers, separating from a partner often prioritises safety. In contrast, children experience a profound sense of loss, having lost a parent and a home. The Haven provides individualised support to address these different impacts, ensuring children feel stable and secure during this challenging transition.

The Role of Play in Healing

One way The Haven supports mothers and children is through safe play. In homes affected by intimate partner violence, play often takes a backseat to safety concerns. Re-introducing play helps rebuild the mother-child connection and allows children to experience safe, nurturing interactions. Activities like hair brushing can seem simple but are layered with developmental and emotional benefits, fostering connection and rebuilding trust.

Rebuilding Connection Through Play

The Haven’s approach emphasises the importance of play and connection, helping children say, “Can you play with me?” as a way of seeking connection. For mothers, modeling and encouraging these moments of play and pause are essential in re-establishing a sense of normalcy and joy in their relationship with their children.