Confidence to leave
Navigating Change: Developing the confidence and conviction to leave
Welcome to "Heart of the Haven," an insightful education series dedicated to shedding light on domestic and family violence and exploring avenues for support. This pervasive issue affects individuals from all walks of life. This article delves into the complexities of this issue and provides insights into the challenges women face when leaving an abusive relationship.
Understanding the Slow Erosion
Domestic and family violence is a persistent, insidious problem, often rooted in psychological tactics aimed at eroding self-identity, self-worth, and self-esteem. Sam Campbell, Executive Officer, Client Services draws a compelling analogy, likening the slow erosion of one's self to writing a name in the sand at the beach and not noticing it getting washed away over time. The gradual impact of abusive tactics makes it challenging for victims to recognise the extent of the harm until a critical moment.
Sam says, “If the abuse was quick and sudden and happened on a first encounter, we would know it wasn’t right and would run a mile. But it’s not. It’s this slow pushing of the moral line, a build-up of tactics over time and you get caught off guard. All of a sudden you think how did I get here? How did my name get washed away? For many women, it’s recognising that this has happened and has been going on for a really long time.”
Building Confidence and Conviction
The process of gaining the confidence to leave varies for each woman. External factors, such as supportive children or a realisation of dwindling social connections, can play a pivotal role. The emergence of empowered young individuals, thanks to increased awareness through school programs and social media, has also become a catalyst for change. Sam shared, “Quite often young people are more aware of what domestic and family violence is and what an unhealthy relationship looks like. They feel confident to say to their mum, this isn’t right, and that gives the woman the conviction to be able to leave.”
Sam emphasises the significance of identifying a passion point, a core aspect of oneself that remains resilient, as a source of strength for women looking to break free from abuse. “Not letting your abuser take away something so fundamental to you can be a driving force for change,” said Sam.
The Haven's Community Awareness
The Haven adopts a community-based approach to raise awareness about domestic and family violence. Engaging in school programs, collaborating with local organisations, and participating in community events contribute to creating awareness about available support services. Additionally, strategic partnerships with frontline responders, such as social workers and police officers, facilitate warm referrals, ensuring a smoother transition for women seeking help.
It’s important that once a woman has the confidence and conviction to leave, she knows where to go. This is why it’s so crucial for The Haven to be visible in our community. We want women to know we exist and are available to help.
Taking the First Step
For women contemplating leaving an abusive relationship, The Haven offers multiple channels for communication. Whether through a phone call, email, or reaching out to trusted community services, the emphasis is on providing accessible options for women to inquire about available resources. The Haven's website serves as a valuable resource, offering statewide numbers and information to address common questions and concerns. Don’t forget your local GP is also another option to get the conversation started and can assist with referrals.
Seeking help is a courageous step. The "Heart of the Haven" series stands as a beacon of awareness and support for those affected by domestic and family violence, providing a roadmap towards change and empowerment. If you or someone you know needs assistance, please click here for a comprehensive list of available services.